He walked away....

He walked away
With no goodbye
No last hug
No, "I hope everything goes great for you"
No, "I'm thankful to have met you"
No, "I appreciate every thing you've done for me"
No, "Call me if you ever need me"
No, "Tell your mother how much she means to me"
No, "I hope your brother gets to be free"
Left no eulogy of our dying bond
Unconditional love is what we preached
Yet, he walked away
As if everything we had gone through together was all a dream
A dream that meant nothing
To him
Cause it meant the world to me
And still does
But he left me in the darkness 
I don’t understand how we make promises we can’t keep
Is ego stronger than truth?
Crazy to me how we called each other family
Should’ve known better after the 5th and 6th time
Thought we’d make amends just like the last times
But this time it was real
You really didn’t give a fuck and turned your back
With no chance to plead my case
Of how fortunate we were to have made it this far
Did you mean it when you said you’d always be there?
Were you sincere when you said that you really do care?
Is this what it meant to be your best friend?
Because you haven’t asked how my mom is doing
Let alone haven’t asked if my brother is even alive
I thank the Lord he still is
And not that it’s your obligation
But after 14 years, I thought I’d get a little more recognition
What did I have to do, to get some reciprocation?
My family may not be important to you
You may have forgotten how much they love you
You may have forgotten everything I did do
Like bring your mom flowers for mother’s day
Or getting your dad a father’s day card for father’s day
What about the hundreds of times I’d drive out to come and see you just to kick it
And the endless amount of UNCONDITIONAL love and support I gave to your dreams that everyone else wanted you to give up in
Not that I’m counting but
I did it all asking nothing in return
And I do acknowledge everything you did for me
Like walking in the rain to hang out with Briana and I at Adriana’s house after she passed away
Or when I walked out of the hotel in Vegas and you came after me to reassure me that everything would be okay
Because I was crying thinking about my brother’s court date on my mom’s birthday
And I didn’t know how to handle that
Because I didn’t want my mother’s heart to break
On her special day
I couldn’t thank you enough that time you went with me to the bail bonds, after your brother’s baby shower
Even though you really didn’t have to
I really do thank you for all you did do
So here I am wondering was that it?
Is this as far as we could go?
Was it all real?  
All I can do is walk away from the beautiful memories we made
Nothing lasts forever, that’s what J. Cole said…
I truly wish you well in all that you do
I will always be rooting for you, #22
Cause that’s what you do for love even when the going gets tough
That's what you do when your bond is stronger than blood
Guess it was just too much
For you
Cause knowing everything you did know
Seeing everything that transpired in my life
You walked away
Not that I needed you to save me
But it would have been great
If you would’ve stayed
And continued to grow together
Because I wouldn’t have left you to go through it alone
I wouldn’t have left when you were at your darkest times and on your own
Did we not learn to appreciate one another?
Did we not learn from Adriana’s death?
To not take anyone for granted
To love fully and with all of our might
And to be there for each other in the good and bad times
Guess we didn't
And I’m sorry if I made it harder than it should have been
Hope I see you someday again….
- Selvin Acabal Paris

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Hey I'm Selvin Paris and this is my visual diary. I am a Stylist, Photographer, Editor-in-Chief, and Entrepreneur, reaching high to achieve my dreams and passions.

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